A Suffering World.

When I meant I am back, I literally, honestly mean, I am BACK.
So here I am again, updating yet another blog post. Yay me! Two consecutive days in a row!
It is nearing 2a.m. now and I am actually extremely tired, however, burdened by the many happenings around me. Because I am so tired, you might just find me rambling inconclusively. Perhaps nothing as insightful as you may expect at this point.

one.
I am sure by now, most of you are aware of the devastating situation in Haiti.
Having been struck by a 7.0 magnitude earthquake, and countless after shocks...
Needless to say, it is looking terrible. Unimaginable number of deaths, injuries, lost of this and that.
Communication lines broken, hindering much needed relief services. And all that the people of Haiti have is a seemingly endless journey of healing and rebuilding up ahead. It is heartbreaking to look through the photos, almost surreal... but unfortunately, it cannot get any more real. Piles of bodies everywhere... and each death seems to only add to a frightening statistic. While I am encouraged to see how the world immediately came together to attempt disaster relief, I cannot help but wonder what people are thinking about this "supposed good God", as it goes with any other catastrophic event. Personally, I believe that regardless the situation, God is sovereign and still good.
But how can that be explained to an unbeliever? Yeap. one of those common looming questions.
Either way, may His Glory shine through and may He use this tragedy to bring those He has called to Himself.

two.
I have been following the "Help Free Gao Zhisheng" campaign for quite a while now. If you are unfamiliar with the situation, you can pay this site a visit. Tonight, my heart sank when I saw the subject line in my inbox "Official Says Gao Zhisheng 'Went Missing' ". What is THAT supposed to mean? Immediately, the "help free Gao Zhisheng" tag line lost the hope of what "help free" had entailed, and is now only characterized by the fearful, uncertain "act now to help Gao's family learn the truth". He is a man of God and has definitely ran the good race, perhaps in such full speed it just might have cost him his very life. Mmms, uncertainties. In our humanity - control-freakishness - uncertainties are the worst. I find myself struggling to pray for him and his family, and by that I mean I don't exactly know what to pray for sometimes. "Dear God, if he is alive yada yada yada....if he isn't... da na na na naa". you know? And would I keep praying in that fashion until I receive more updates? What if we never get to know? It isn't even just for this situation that I feel this way, how about those I am not quite acquainted with. Their salvation. there just might be a high possibility that I'll never find out! Or those I have lost contact with, maybe the family that is so dear to my heart in the Philippines, yet not even P.John knows where they have moved to. the list goes on. It almost somewhat bothers me that I can only "i don't know... but... if... then.... if not... then....", rather than being able to pray for something more specific and tangible. Is that a lack of faith, a firmer grasp onto me wanting control, or some kind of fear that I won't see any fruits of labor type of deal? I honestly do not know.

See. I told you. I really am getting nowhere with this. too tired.
Perhaps after some sleep. I will return to this and think about it some more,
with some other additions to this chain of thought that i have no energy to jot down at this point.

goodnoights world.