The Silent Savior.

I saw one hanging on a tree
In agony and blood
Who fixed His loving eyes on me
As near His cross I stood
And never till my dying breath
Will I forget that look
It seemed to charge me with His death
Though not a word He spoke

My conscience felt and owned the guilt
And plunged me in despair
I saw my sins His blood had spilt
And helped to nail Him there
But with a second look He said
“I freely all forgive
This blood is for your ransom paid
I died that you might live”

CHORUS
Forever etched upon my mind
Is the look of Him who died
The Lamb I crucified
And now my life will sing the praise
Of pure atoning grace
That looked on me and gladly took my place

Thus while His death my sin displays
For all the world to view
Such is the mystery of grace
It seals my pardon too
With pleasing grief and mournful joy
My spirit now is filled
That I should such a life destroy
Yet live by Him I killed

The Look - Sovereign Grace Music

in CJ Mahaney's message, More Desirable than Gifts,
I remember vividly his description of the story of the leper who returned to worship Jesus.
All the healing and miracle jazz happened on His way to Jerusalem.
Christ had US. you. & me. on His heart & mind in the midst of all of this.
He was on His way. to the Cross.

"Surely our griefs He Himself bore,
And our sorrows He carried;
Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten of God, and afflicted.
But He was pierced through for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him,
And by His scourging we are healed.
All of us like sheep have gone astray,
Each of us has turned to his own way;
But the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all
To fall on Him.

He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He did not open His mouth;
Like a lamb that is led to slaughter,
And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers,
So He did not open His mouth."

Isaiah 53:4-7

Dream Big.

Photo taken at La Jolla Shores '08; edited by Leon.

"So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth;
It will not return to Me empty,
Without accomplishing what I desire,
And without succeedin in the matter for which I sent it"
- Isaiah 55:11

Lo and behold, I am already half way through the second week of spring quarter.
I cannot begin to express how glad I am that winter quarter finally "belongs" to my past. & that I am done with it.
Spring break was unproductive. I think last quarter was so intense I could not get myself to do anything during break.
While my un-productiveness fueled my watching of "Miss No Good" (Wilber Pan has an awesomely cute smile) and led me to watching an absurd amount of Youtube (i think I have maxed my spring quarter's quota already), time spent with the familia and amigos were precious :] I realized the older I get, the more I treasure my time at home... but really. where is home?!

This quarter has been good thus far.
There were many firsts since week one of school.

First internship experience
I intern at The Virtual Reality Medical Center through UCSD's Academic Internship Program.
10 hours a week. 5hours on Wed, and 5hours on Thurs. Thus far, it has been an awesome experience.
Essentially, I am doing what I learned in Cogs187a - multimedia design - last quarter. Horrah! something practical.
I am a one man team redesigning the company's website. haha. 8]
The company is rather small. there is a 3-men team (literally MEN) working on, everything, really.
They do the graphics, they do the 3D simulations, they attempt product design, they change the lights, they build the bookshelves. It is interesting. But I enjoy it. The environment is chill, and I have many opportunities to broaden my haha. horizons. or something of the sort :) Not only that, all three graduated from SD and we've had the same professors (man those profs have been around for a while HAHA). My highest supervisor is Canto. My other one is Viet. My food culture is like a fusion of them two! There is also a Greek doode, in which they like to call him - hairy.
I have been getting a very small glimpse of the "working world". I can see how life without school and the support of a fellowship and the active involvement in various ministries can be challenging for anyone to "go out there and LIVE OUT the christian life". Everything would seem to be a bit duller. It got me thinking. It is in these times and situations that I would have to seek out every opportunity to be a light to those around me, whether it is through my actions or my attitude, or when presented with the opportunity, explicitly sharing the Gospel. Praise God for TChu :) because she is mostly working, I learn so much from her desire to be an influence to the kids she teaches, and her desire to exhibit Christ-like love towards them.

First volunteer session with A.R.T.S. - A Reason to Survive.
This is a non-profit org that provides free art, music, or performance arts programs for children and youth who are abused, neglected, sheltered, homeless etc. I have been looking foward to this for a very long time. I assist a lead volunteer for a Friday class and last Friday was my first time there. We have 8 kids, all unique in their own way and ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE.
They all come from different and very complicated backgrounds - some have lost one or the other parent, others have heavy metal poisoning, and others, autism. It is my prayer that I be a light to these children and that one day, even if it may not be explicitly through me, that even in their circumstances, they see the hope found in Jesus Christ. These kids are crazy. and hyper. but they make me happy, warm & fuzzy inside, just like the picture to the left does :)


Philippines 08 - Dale: Pastor John and Ate Grace's lil bundle of joy <3

First time sleeping earlier and getting decent amount of sleep.
First time enjoying 2/3 of my classes + internship.
don't have much to elaborate on those two :)

And now I come to my seemingly irrelevant blog title - dream big.
Sometmies I wonder what the boundaries of "dreaming big" entail. I think I would consider my ambitions to become a celebrity, a singer, a renown.. someone... as dreaming way big, to the point of impracticality (but no, I really do not want to be those figures haha). On the other hand, as the issues of child soldiers, children of war, etc. are increasingly heavy on my heart, my recent "dream" for serving in Uganda (at least for one short term trip) seems to be less surreal and closer to an actual possibility. At the same time, the idea of it seems so far fetched I do not know whether this is God pressing it on my heart, or whether it is a random notion of compassion springing from who knows where. And I ask myself, why this particular group? There are many others who are in need and in various capacities. Why specifically child soldiers? Children of War? Honestly, I don't know, but i do know that only the Gospel offers a hope that truly sets them free from the horrors, guilt, and trauma of the prolonged war in Northern Uganda. And I do not think, or in anyway want to undermine the importance of the Gospel and what we are saved from - nastaay sinful selves that even these victims have no pardon for. Paul David Tripp once said, "The hope of the cross is in its willing sacrifice of One for the sake of another". How beautiful, and how great that ultimately, we are not only saved from our sinful selves, but that we get to enjoy God FOREVER. Worship. is lacking. in so many places around the world. So if God calls me to, I pray that He will give me the courage, boldness, and trust, to follow Him - wherever, whenever. As for Uganda, it is just a very specific place I want to go to for a specific group - even more so after watching War Dance (GREAT DOCUMENTARY btw, watch it if you haven't!) However, everything is very uncertain. I do not know if this would happen in the near future, some time down in life's journey, or if ever at all. But please pray that I will not fear, in this sense, "dreaming big", that I would earnestly pray for the opportunity, and God willing, He will provide open doors, and if not, then I can stop pursuing it so intensely, but until then, pray that I will not loose heart in doing so! I don't want my fears, insecurities, and feelings of inadequacy trick me into thinking what God can do, even if it seems so insane and impossible. Many times, I feel like I have had such a blessed family, childhood, pretty darn smooth life, that I am in no place to minister to this particular group of people because I will never, EVER, understand their pain and experiences. However, I am also reminded that God uses the foolish things of this world to shame the wise. In addition, Jesus has used so many seemingly lowly and of no importance to society for His purposes. Since I am a mere vessel, priveleged to serve a great God and be part of a great Kingdom. why not BE that vessel then?

and if you read all the way through, dang. Thankee. much appreciated!
SLEEP TIME. blogging takes up so much. time and energy! haha.

goodnoights.