“Where children hide, and adults don’t know—this is school.”

This post too, has been a work-in-progress for well over half a year, so FYI, any "time" words from here on after, are most likely inaccurate :)

In preparation for my Korea (and Thailand) trip, my language and cultural preparations escalated tenfold - do I hear excuses? In all seriousness, with some of the challenges I have been facing at home for the month of January, I needed an outlet to remove myself from reality, even if it were only an hour a night. And so, I happily watched two rather lighthearted K-dramas in a row, and finished my third one not too long ago. It's a record, for better or for worse.

I would not, however, characterize the third series - School 2013 - as lighthearted, but it did come at a time when I was more mentally and emotionally prepared as the situation at home has at the very least, stabilized. Initially, I thought it would be a dumb show. The title of the drama in and of itself does not possess much charm, and for me, at quarter-life, to be watching an entire drama series on high school life is just embarrassing. But with one chingu's recommendation, I gave it a try, and am so glad that I did!

The series begins with the voice over of a seasoned seonsaengnim (teacher), "All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. Where children hide, and adults don't know - this is school." That alone was sufficient for me to anticipate depth to the series. Surely it did not disappoint.

The series was engaging, charming, heart-felt, and real. And totally up my alley. Best yet, it carried through without any heavy romantic focus! Instead, it was saturated with hard-core bromance, friendship, and fully reflected the many problems of modern society. The saying 學校是社會的縮影 (school is a miniature of society) is an accurate description, even a sad reality at times, but still hopeful nonetheless.

Hilarious: this series appeared to be so low-budget that these kiddos even slept with their school uniforms on (minus the jacket)! Can you even imagine? I just can't stop laughing.

Post-drama thoughts and lessons:

BEING A SEONSAENGNIM - If I had more guts to deal with classroom management, public speaking, and actually had a subject I wanted to teach on, being a teacher for disadvantaged youth would have been a career option. A teacher is on the front-line of impacting the next generation, and I'd love to be a part of that. Despite my insecurities, I have actually had my fair share of "teaching experiences", from the occasional small-group leading, to teaching the young, the old, the native or non-native English speakers, arts and crafts, ESL, and even topics on job-readiness. Even years after, however, I still find teaching challenging and completely out of my comfort zone, but it is undeniably very rewarding to witness my students' growth. Heart-warming! It's unfortunate that teachers nowadays receive little respect, and the teachers who genuinely care for the welfare of the students are usually entangled in a bureaucratic and faulty system that, in the end, robs the students of a potentially good education and an adult role model. All other things aside though, consider the craziness that comes with being a school teacher: if I were a school teacher in Asia, I would be concerned over the high rates of suicide among students. If I were a school teacher in the U.S. I would be scared for the lives of my students and for that of my own! You just never know with the escalated school shooting incidents in recent years. It seems like anyone can get angry, go crazy, whoop out a gun, pull the trigger, shoot everyone, and call it a wrap with a suicidal attempt. Eek! Anyway, back to the show. Because there was also a decent emphasis on the struggles and rewards of being a teacher for the hopeless, pathetic class, I felt less lame watching a show about high school kids. In fact, I saw a bit of myself in seonsaengnim Jung (yes, to defend myself, I watched from the perspective of the adults in the show). Her strengths and weaknesses, I identified with. Maybe that is why the series was particularly engaging for me. She was perhaps an overly attached "ssaem". Her compassion would not allow her to give up even on that one. black. sheep. I admit, that is idealistic thinking at times, but I also would vouch for her, that sometimes it does take this type perseverance, or stubbornness, to see another person through.

I had my fair share of such sentiments when coaching some kids (and I call them kids, but really they are young adults who are just shy of a few years of being my peer) at work on basic interviewing skills and witnessing their progression towards obtaining employment. Encouraging them, motivating them, scolding them, in all, has been quite the journey. Oh what a difference from our first class! I almost felt like a ssaem noona hybrid today. Some highlights:

• These boys, compared to how they were before, are getting a bit too comfortable with me - mischievous little ones SNEAKING UP ON ME AND SCARING THE BIDAZZLES OUT OF ME in front of 99 ranch. Ha. You're gonna get it you two! I suppose this is part of being a "young" teacher. Comes with the job :)
• LF hopped into my car and voluntary chatted it up with much more depth than he realized and what I imagined him capable of (semi-quoting from the most recent k-drama I've been watching - Answer Me 1994 - one character says sincerity cannot be forced, and sure enough this sincerity happened naturally upon LF's own initiative)
• LF shared his his thoughts on life, ambitions, expressed opinions, and asked for mine. In response, I affirmed him that he has much more "内涵" (substance) than he thinks and that he should not box himself in as "that type of kid" who did not graduate from high school, is not good at studying, cannot make it through college at this age, and will end up hanging out with the same group of friends who also have no substance in their talk. In the end, I don't think he was convinced, but hopefully a seed was planted.
• While waiting for his turn for the interview, LF "rushed" out to "get a breath of fresh air". I gave him THE LOOK (having reminded him twice about not smoking before an interview), he turned back at the door almost in eye-rolling but willing obedience, and grumbled "i woooon't smokeee". As for me me? Satisfactory grin, of course!
• Interview debrief: when I heard how he applied some of the answers our staff has been so diligently teaching him, when I saw his smile after the high five, and when I saw him rushing off to smoke a cig after reporting the interview details (yes, what a drag, you've been holding out for the past two hours. Good grief boy, watch your health!) I felt that this confidence he experienced, a belief that he could learn and succeed step-by-step with hard work, is perhaps the greatest thing I could have offered aside from the actual job.
• Friendship: I enjoyed watching LF and BY's interactions and loved that the job-readiness workshops facilitated this friendship :) As new immigrants, it is so important to find belonging in a community!

ACADEMIC SNOB, SOCIETAL BRAT - there was one particularly despicable character in the series,  the elite of the class who was so consumed by her pursuit of academic success that, literally, everything else did not matter, including her exploded (not exploding) ego that caused disrespect for others. The teachers made a good point: the sad reality is that these brats are the ones who will end up making it to the top universities, involving themselves in leadership positions, and acting as the future governmental leaders. Um, I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want no brat like her dictating the direction of a company, an institution, a city, country... or even a friend's life. With this particular profile, academic guidance and counseling is not what the individual needs. If the teacher is not or cannot fulfill the role of the "social worker" or even just a "mentor", hopefully there can be some collaboration with other school staff to whoop some important life lessons into the life of this student.

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE - As an aspiring social worker, one of my favorite quotes and most important takeaway from this series is this:

"The kids are too heavy for me" 

"They are heavy because you are trying to be responsible for them until the very end. Teachers are to just support the kids during the time they pass us. During that time, if a connection is built between the student and the teacher, it's great. Even the kids who are left alone out in that cold world, will not go astray because of that connection."

This is something I will keep with me forever. When you develop a relationship with a client, when you see them improving, when you see them walking in a direction that you disapprove of but cannot keep walking with them, you need to remember, I need to remember, that we cannot be responsible for this individual until the very end.

I had several similar experiences, some even prior to my watching of School 2013. 

1. Discipleship: I only had 3 months with my disciplee before I graduated from college and God really challenged me to prayerfully consider what would be most beneficial for her. In the end, it was learning how to study the Bible. That was the tool, skill, and heart I wanted to leave her with because that will serve as the foundation for her future spiritual growth, for her discernment between Biblical and false teachings, and for her continual love for the Lord. It wasn't the mere study of theology, though that is absolutely important, it wasn't just the study of what a Godly woman looks like, though that is extremely helpful. Understanding God's Word had to be the source, the foundation, for it all.
2. Philippines: I met the cutest, most heart-warming Filipino family in one of the rural slums during my first missions trip. They were not in a good condition at all, especially the youngest. At age 2, she was still unable to stand due to quite severe malnutrition. This was a family I bonded with the most and even sent a little photo/frame with Bible verse to. Yet, even the pastor in the PH did not know of their whereabouts after a period of time and in the end, all we can do is entrust that family to the Lord and trust that God used us in a tiny part of His plan to reveal Himself to that family.
3. LF and BY: They actually quit their job soon after they started and decided that they wanted to move to another state for higher pay and for a forced-English learning environment. To be honest, I was extremely mad and wanted to punch a hole in the wall, but slowly realized, yes, it was detrimental to program numbers and stressful for the team to deal with, but this is something that the two kids had to experience and learn for themselves. Perhaps their decision would benefit them. Perhaps they will come running back and realize that we had their best interest in mind. Who knows. But I learned to let it go and hope that whatever they learned in the job-readiness classes and also through personal conversation, that they would take that with them. 
4. Client: I only have one semester left with one of the clients I have been conducting weekly meetings with at my current field placement. He is an individual with high-functioning ASD. I am starting to think hard about what I want to leave him with that would best help him move forward even without my being there for him. Confidence? Ability to advocate for himself? 

It is natural to want to know the ending, especially if you've already invested so much in a person, but we don't always have the luxury of that, especially in the social services profession. Good reminder. Important reminder. Needed reminder going forth. 

Paul puts it well, especially in terms of evangelism: "I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth" - 1 Cor 3:6. We are given different responsibilities in bringing the Good News to others, perhaps we will plant the seed, perhaps we will get to see the person come to know the Lord, but ultimately it is God who moves and God who causes the growth! And... I shall leave you with that. 안녕 (annyeong)!