Work.

Next Thursday will be my one year anniversary with the International Rescue Committee as a full-time staff. Time just whizzed past me. I realized I never even got around to writing an entry on my journey from funemployment to getting a job, or from pursuing design to engaging in the field of social services. I looked back on my posts and saw that I had documented my feelings of discouragement and frustration in the job search process through a song called "stuck in Taipei" 困在台北, and then... my blog became notoriously known for its MASSIVE entries :) looks like I completely skipped out on some pretty big life decisions, blessings and grace that I have experienced since then (in the job context)! But, I will revisit those experiences on July 5, 2012 and share them with the few of you who may be reading.

In my near one year with the IRC, I surprisingly did not experience too much stress, considering how much we deal with clients. However, recently I've experienced two waves of it, one in which I cannot disclose due to confidentiality issues, and the other more recent one is due to the lack of capacity to help the amount of clients who are currently enrolled in our programs. I am looking forward to playing some sports this weekend to relieve myself, maybe doodle a picture or two.

We have a very mixed and unique client base, probably enough to cover all extremes. The rich, the poor. The highly educated, the ones who have never gone through formal education. The lazy, the hardworking. The grateful, the annoying and demanding. The torture survivors, the happy dandies who have no problem returning to their home countries if life gets too hard in America. The list goes on. However, helping those who truly need the service is extremely, extremely difficult in this city. Job opportunities are already scarce, let alone securing an actual job! Stress. Stress. Stress. Anytime something involves another person's life and well being, or even survival = STRESS!

You really get a glimpse of reality, much of which is out of our control. Bureaucracy. Incompetent, mean case workers from, elsewhere. The hundreds and thousands of cash-based, tax-evading businesses that obviously work in contrary to what we want and must place our clients in. I am terribly afraid of referring clients to massage parlors / nail and hair salons in fear of the oft-too common shady business that goes on behind those doors, yet those are jobs that a portion of our clients want to do or are working towards, or resorted to due to the lack of opportunities or relevant experience from their home country. LIFE it is. Worse yet, they do not even have it that bad here compared to many parts of the world!

Yet there is the occasional glimmer of hope and heart-warming words and actions that come from our clients. Here is something I recently received via email from a client:

"说实放，我真的好感动，谢谢你，这么晚了还给我发消息，
在美国，有了你们这样的朋友自己才感觉不到孤单"
"truth is, I'm really touched. Thank you for sending me this information even though it is so late. Because I have friends like you guys here in the U.S., I feel a lot less lonely"

Nothing boast-worthy on our end really, but nonetheless encouraging and affirming that despite the minimal service we can offer, it is somehow still making a positive impact on someone's life. I'm actually not quite sure why the email was sent so late because I definitely did not stay up till 3am to send it! Ha.

There are others who are overcome by episodes of anxiety, tantrums, unreasonable fits... yet their lives speak of a perseverance and resilience that I greatly respect and wish I had even more of, as a Christian especially!

I remember several of our clients who came as free cases straight from an African refugee camp (no family here, no friends, barely any language capacity, if any at all) and the few that remained and lived together, one worked day and night shifts on a pay only slightly higher than minimum wage to survive, and covered rent for his "friend" whom he actually met at the refugee camp and had no family relations with. Talkin' about being sacrificial!

Those are probably some of the reasons why I enjoy my job despite the stress and sometimes mental take-home-workload. It has its rewards, but it is definitely a sobering reminder that as humans, we are very limited. Humanitarian work can really only go so far, and I know that ultimately, only Christ can offer lasting hope, joy, and peace that even a good life here in America cannot fulfill. It breaks my heart to hear of people suffering, getting beaten by cops for beliefs that ultimately do not lead to the one true God. It breaks my heart to see many coming to the U.S. not only for protection, but obsessively in search of the American dream that is not eternal (Matt 6:19-21).

I am still learning and exploring how to speak and act in a manner that is Gospel saturated in the context of social services. Many non-Christians in the non-profit sector, in fact most of them are not, are overflowing with love, care, and passion for people and various causes, but from a client's point of view, what distinguishes the Christian case worker from the love, care, and sacrifice of a non-Christian service provider?